


Anything Less or Something More

by imperialMachine



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Breakup, Detective AU, F/M, Makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:01:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22151467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imperialMachine/pseuds/imperialMachine
Summary: John and Terezi are back to being strangers, but John doesn't want to be just strangers and pretend whatever happened between them didn't happen.
Relationships: John Egbert/Terezi Pyrope
Kudos: 14





	Anything Less or Something More

There she is. He watches as she walks by him, not even acknowledging his presence. It was a stab to his heart, having her not look at him properly. The other workers praise her for putting another bad guy behind bars. _She is a brilliant detective_ , he thinks. While the rest give her pats on the back, John wanderers back into the closet filled with paperwork. He might as well get some of it done now and go home early. Having to be here any longer would be torture, especially with her here.

Several hours have gone by and John's still organizing papers in the right bins. Sitting on the floor, he rests his head on the drawer behind him. She can be so cruel sometimes. John remembers the feeling of her kisses and her teeth biting his lips. He remembers her hugs and her laughs when he tickles her. He wraps his arms around himself, void of her.

Once he realized he was thinking about her, he picks himself up and leaves the claustrophobic space. The building was nearly empty, except for the half eaten cakes and empty cups scattered around the vicinity - and her.

Detective Pyrope's office was open. Just how long was he here for? Instinctively, John checked his breath and fixed his hair before entering her office.

"Hey-" he greeted, waving from the doorway.

"John," She says, quickly, almost startled.

"Sorry," he rubs the back of his head, cursing at himself. He made her uncomfortable again. "I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine-" She cuts him off. "What are you still doing here?"

She rests her chin on her hand, her head slightly tilted to the side. "Well," John swallows hard. " I… should be asking you that. There was a party for you and you're still working."

She grins. "You, of all people, should know that justice never sleeps. "

"Justice kinda needs it."

Terezi chuckles. There's something infectious about her laugh that makes anyone want to join in, even John. "Well said. Maybe I do need a break."

John stands at the doorway awkwardly. They just kinda stare at each other, waiting for the other to say something. John breaks the silence by saying, "I'll leave you to it then." He turns around, intending to leave.

"Wait!" Terezi says a bit too loud. John turned around to face her. "You didn't answer my question, what are you still doing here?"

"I - uh," He stumbles over his words. "I lost track of time."

"Until it was dusk?"

He didn't know why he was still here either. He had planned to leave early just so he could be away from her. But he doesn't want to be away from her..

"Nevermind. Forget I said anything-"

"Terezi - listen, I -" He stammers over his words. This can't be over, not between them. " Why can't we be friends?"

Terezi looks down, letting at a soft sigh. She gets up, going over to the front of her desk and leans her butt on it. She's silent for a moment.

"I stayed because maybe I don't want to leave, at least, not yet." John explains himself, moving closer to her. " Did you stay for the same reason?"

What is she supposed to say? That she's not quite over him either, or that she's in love with him, or, maybe worse, she never wanted to break up in the first place. Getting lost in John's eyes, she can't remember why she broke it off in the first place. And she doesn't understand why he stays if he hates it so much.

"Please, say something." His eyes beg her almost as much as his words.

She can't. All she's done was say what she thinks is best but it's always done the opposite. Maybe she shouldn't say anything for once. And actually do what she desires.

"Terezi - " John comes closer.

Terezi pulls him by the neck tie and locked lips with him. She was always bad with words anyways. She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him in. John reciprocates, holding her by the waist, feeling the curves of her body. He tastes her tongue as he sits her on the desk, making her lean back. He kisses, bites on her neck, making her moan. He brings himself back to her lips as she nibbles on his bottom lip.

"John…" She calls mid-kiss, her hand with a fistful of hair.

The blue light from the moon reflects through the window into the dark office as John undoes her shirt. Terezi caresses his cheek with gentle touches. It's been so long since she's seen him, smelled him, and felt him. He captures her kisses again.

"John," Terezi moans in his mouth.

He breaks the kiss and presses his forehead against hers. "I can't take being strangers again." Terezi hears the sadness in his voice. "Why can't we be friends?"

"This isn't what friends do." She says, half jokingly. "And we both know that we're bad at 'being friends'."

He breaks the contact, getting a good look at his former lover. Her hair is longer and her cheekbones are more noticeable than when they were together. She spent too much time in the office, drinking shitty coffee and eating only bagels, just to avoid going home to an empty apartment. She's still beautiful even with bags under her eyes. John plants a kiss on her forehead.

"Look, I don't want this either, but-"

"But your job is more important." John interrupts. "I know."

Terezi sighs, lowering her shoulders in defeat. "...That doesn't mean I didn't have feelings for you!"

"I never said that you didn't." He buttons up her shirt and fixes her messy hair. John fixes himself up as he made his way to her door.

"Wait! Don't go!" She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her.

He closes his eyes while his heart crumbles in his chest again. "If we can't be friends, I don't know what we're supposed to be."

She doesn't say anything. Instead she continued to hold him close to her. She doesn't want this, but this is what must be done. Terezi can't allow herself to get close to anyone - not again, not after what happened to… her. She can't deal with another death of a lover.

"It feels pointless without you. And to have to act like nothing happened between us is worse." John admits to Terezi, while he chokes back the sobs.

"John, I - "

"I don't know if 'I love you' would change your mind." He tells her.

She never thought he would be the first one to say it. Terezi waited for this moment since they first started dating a year ago. She wants to say that she loves him too, even now. She wants to tell him that her heart is breaking too. She wants to tell him that she doesn't want him to go. What she wants goes against her ability to tell. "It's better this way." She tells him while also trying to convince herself.

“Can’t we be friends,” before Terezi got a chance to say anything, John finishes, “From a distance.”

“Oh,” She breathes. “Yeah, of course.” She glances at his lips. _From a distance_ , she thought. She lets go of his arm, and he doesn’t look at her.

He turns around, managing the most convincing smile on a broken hearted man’s face. “I better be going now.” John holds out his hand for a handshake - not the most appropriate way to bid a farewell to the person he slept with, and possibly wanted to share a life with.

Instead of taking his hand, she tiptoes up to him and gives him a kiss on the cheek. “I loved you too.” She pulls away from him and smiles, sadly. “Bye, John.”

He kept the smile up until he turned away from her. _Loved_ , he thought. John grabbed the rest of his stuff from the closet across this section of the building. He got to his car and sat there for what seems like hours. Once again, he’s torturing himself. She could never love him as much as he loved her, could she? He started the car and drove to nowhere that’s home to him.

Terezi closed her office door, leaning against it. She broke out in tears. “Fuck!” Why is she torturing herself with this? Why won’t she allow herself to be happy? He could never love her this much, can he? She could never go home if her home was with him, and he’s gone. She lays on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. _He’s better off without me_ , she thinks. Terezi wants to believe that, but she’s only excusing herself from the pain of loving someone. Criminals hate getting caught, and they have goons target loved ones.

They can’t kill a loved one if Terezi has no one. “It’s better this way,” she repeats, wiping the tears.


End file.
